Of Losing Family

PS: Friendly advise, if you're not in the mood for anything somber I suggest you skip this, because it's one sad story.

Today would be my late sister's 29th birthday. Yuni passed away seven years ago, just 12 hours before my wedding, after months struggling to battle cancer.

Out of her request, me and my then girlfriend decided to get married earlier in hope that she gets to see her brother tied the knot. Alas it was not to be. 24 hours before, dad called from the hospital saying that she's in critical condition, and that we're losing her. My mum and other sis have to fly back home in a hurry.

We had my uncle be the witness for the wedding. Right away after the reception me and wife flew to Makassar.

Yuni was this very easy going and enthusiastic girl. Quite the opposite of me and my youngest sis, Fitra. She was the light that shone the brightest in our little family. We were so sure she was going places. Winning singing competitions and made good grades in her school. It’s unfortunate, she still had so much to look up to in her future.

Her indomitable spirit and bravery was the reason my father put a lot of hope during the painful chemo treatment. Always be the one with tons of anecdote and jokes to tell. It is quite drab and empty for the rest of us now that she's gone.

The number of friends attending the funeral is a testament of how close she was to her surrounding. Years have passed us by and those dear friends keep visiting her final resting place each Hari Raya. I'm very moved by their loyalty.

I imagine my funeral wouldn't be that crowded, being a very introvert person all my life. Sean Connery said it best in Finding Forrester, "Losing family . . . obliges us to find our family. Not always the family that is our blood, but the family that can become our blood. And should we have the wisdom to open our door to this new family, . . . we will find that the wishes and hopes we once had . . . for the father who once guided us, for the brother who once inspired us, . . . those wishes are there for us once again."

I have my own family now, and in addition, I also have very few close friends who I consider my family, even though being a closed book that I am they might not know it.

Happy birthday Sis.

8 comments:

Rob Baiton said...

It is important to remember and to cherish the moments, all of the moments.

Rishardana said...

Thanks Pak Rob,
Yes, the memories from loved ones is all we've got after losing family.

I'm starting to forget my sister's face which is a bit sad. We should have taken a lot more photos while we live.

Lina said...

may she be blessed with Allah's blessings amin

Rishardana said...

Thank you Lina :)

Hanityo said...

Touching, I'm sure your sister is smiling at you up there.

what we do here in this life, echoes in eternity.

Salam.
RHA
http://hanityo.wordpress.com

Rishardana said...

Hi Hanityo :) yeah hopefully she will ...

Thanks for stopping by.
I'll look around at your blog :)

Jeff said...

Rish,
I don't know you but I came across your blog in a complete random set of events. I lost my brother to cancer in Jan, 2008...and sometimes I surf the net hoping to find his spirit somewhere in the ether. Sometimes my heart is so filled with grief for him that it makes me want to hide under the carpet. You won't forget your sister's face. My brother was quite a guy. His name was Jarrett Knyal. Anyway, check him out -- you will find him and his story easily. Anyway -- thank you for taking away my depression today.

Best,

Jeff

Hario Hadi Waseso Yuwantoro said...

wah kak heru saya baru tahu kalau kak yuni udah lama kembali ke sisi allah swt akibat kanker .... padahal ingat dulu waktu masih di blok H bareng bareng sama kak yuni diajakin main ....