Little House on the Prairie

Life isn’t just all about the endings, is it? It’s a series of continuous moments (unless probably when the judgment day has come obviously). So when we see Tom Hanks and his son finally meet Meg Ryan on top of The Empire Building, or when Hugh Grant rush to the conference room and admits to Julia Robert about being a daft prick, I really would like to know what’s next lie waiting for them. Perhaps we can come back ten years later, are they squabbling a lot? Are they still together? And many other question ones can conjure up their minds (But please none of those dimwitted sequels around).

So when I got me a call the other day from a lady with a nice voice saying that my loan application to their bank is approved, I was overjoyed. I’ve been dreaming about this for so long. Having a home of our own, albeit it’s a small one and situated at about one hour from whence I’m currently working. As the Chinese would say, a journey of thousand miles started with a single step. Well, this is my single step forward.

It was not that easy applying for the loan. Plenty of work papers need to be filled. The Primary Tax Number for one and how to convince the previous owner to let us copy his Ownership Certificate was just among several tricky things we face along the way. Good thing the Bank’s marketing staff happens to know a member of my wife’s family. We really received gargantuan amount of help from him. Imagine, we’ve got our approval notice in less than a week.

My wife is such a great saver. If it were up to me, we’d have end up with zilch amount in the bank, for I was such a reckless spender. But thanks to her crafty and strict expenses management policy, we had enough to pay half the House and save some for renovation and furniture.

Many people said that the price really was a bargain, plenty of offers in the table, yet because the owner is residing in Surabaya, it’s rather difficult for them to reach any agreement. My wife flew all the way to Surabaya to convince the family that we’re the right buyer for them. Kudos for her, she managed to persuade them to come to Jakarta when the contract signing date arrived.

It’s not all well and dandy though; we still have to face the moving on thing, which is going to be a real bitch. Facing several squabbles deciding what color to choose for the paint, what kind of coffee table and sofas to fill the living room. How to be more docile facing the commute every day from home to the office is one of the daunting prospect lies ahead, and many more. Hopefully that will not take the joy out of our new start, as I was saying, life is a series of continuous moments.

When I was a little boy, I loved to watch Little House on the Prairie every Sunday for years. We have our own little house now, and South of Bekasi is our new prairie.

Durian and Tiramisu

Having a lil smidgen of extra money from some moonlighting activities afford us a bit of durian party at home, during the weekend. That juicy and extra sweet fruit isn't one would call a delicacy, as the aftertaste seems rather too strong for some people especially westerner.

Knowing how to pick the right fruit always becomes a tricky part. Luckily the guy who assisted us yesterday really knows his stuff as it turns out the quality of the fruit we bought was top notch. Us Indonesians prefer the balance between the bitter and sweet flavors, which signifies the perfect state of ripeness for the King of Fruit.

The poor taxi driver on our way home probably still busy trying to wipe that strong aroma from his car even tho’ we’ve already double bag ‘em neatly. Hope that extra thousands we spared him could lighten up his mood a bit hehehe, well most likely not.

Some said that people with high blood pressure traditionally advised to avoid durian due to its rich content of cholesterol. That is possibly why today I’m feeling a tad high, drunken of the many curd-like flesh I’ve consumed yesterday. Silly me, I should have drink some water directly from the skin after that.

Speaking of high blood pressure, I was not any smarter several days ago. Ever since I was curious of what tiramisu means in Sleepless in Seattle (you know when Rob Reiner told Tom Hanks how chicks dig it, at first I thought it was some kind of secret Japanese delicacy), I always find myself craving about that famous Italian dessert.

One particular article in a magazine three years ago listed a few places that serve delicious tiramisu in Jakarta. My favorite would be Allessandro Nannini as they dish up a perfect (at least for me) balances of fullness that rich cream, ladyfinger pastry, and strong aroma of cocoa melts in your mouth.

It is hard to describe how tiramisu taste like. It’s sweet and creamy, yet it doesn't taste too sugary, and it doesn't stay in your mouth long enough and just make you crave for another bite. It tastes just absolutely delicious.

The best I ever had would definitely be when we we’re in Il Carminos Trattoria. Heaven in my mouth would be an overstatement, I guess. But it was pretty close, especially as it was free, with the regular fancy office dinner every Thursday night our boss treated us.

Well, in short I gotta work hard to earn that smidgen of extra money so we can afford more durians and tiramisus in the future without having to rob any bank.

Hyperbolic, hehehe I know, told ya I’m a little bit drunk.

Chronicle of Cabbie Talk

Another traffic jam, another chat with the cabbie. I should make a series out of this. They said in a movie somewhere that cab drivers are good judge of characters, second only to bartender. They’ve probably met thousands of different people behind their wheel. Anyway, luckily this time the driver only had a bearable mild body odor. Wouldn’t it be even more miserable trapped in the traffic jam with a stench that would make you nauseating all the way?

The bloke is a proud 37 years old with a rather abrasive manner. Some motorcycle run passes him in a way he didn’t approve of, and suddenly some animal and bodily expletive blurted out like machine gun. Interesting character this chap. He admitted that he’s pretty naughty when he was a boy, raised by a strictly discipline policeman father. With his thick Batak accent, he told me about how he used to run away from home, and stop short of saying that his father abused him as a child with plenty of physical punishment for his misdemeanor. It goes to show that rigid discipline and severe grueling act won’t always brings the good out of someone.

He’s now a father of two and trying so hard to straightened his behavior. Even though it’s hard when it comes down to women, he admitted. Especially living in five days away from home each week, a man needed some sort of lechery or ‘channeling’ he flagrantly said. I wanted to ask whether the fact that his father often beat him as a child, would he then pass it onto his sons or did it make some sort of repercussions in his behavioral pattern in the long run. But I didn’t want to offend him with such a sensitive question. He said that once out of fury, his father put him in the district prison after wrecking his car. I was simply astonished when I hear that.

Talking with the man made me think about the last episode of Oprah. The main theme was crime and violence. I remember one respondent remarked about the defining moments in our life. How we respond to that situation will dictate the course of our life. In these case she chose the wrong action and facing a life sentence as the result. Oprah also share the story about her defining moment was when her mother grew so tired of her antics and trying to ‘leave’ her in a county prison. Luckily the prison was full and Oprah realized that if she didn’t change her manners she would really end up behind bars. She can’t imagine what would have happened if the prison were not full at the time, what with all the rape, rage, and violence fostered in the US penal system. She is now one of the richest entertainers in the world though.

Speaking of defining moments in our life made my mind wander to several flashbacks. Surely you have some on your mind too. Mine would be when I suddenly decided to quit the Akabri (Indonesian Military Akademi) and went to the University instead. My father was speechless for more than one minute when I told him about it by phone. I still maintain that I made the right decision, yet sometimes I do wonder, what would it be like if I am still there. Several friends (who still in the armed forces) applaud my decision though, because apparently life as an army man is dreadfully arduous both physique and economy. However, there’s a solemn proud ness and dignity in serving your country as a soldier. Even though in recent days, our society look upon them with mixed feelings, some are admittedly demeaning, yet they are still regarded highly in my book.

It’s not all about big decisions and defining moments, though. You might remember in Vanilla Sky, how little things in life can be a certain turning point for us. I found myself very intrigued by the strange look in Tom Cruise’s face when he weighs his decision whether to join Cameron Diaz’s car or not. Seems very simple. Which cab to take? Which turn to make? Which way to go? All small choices can lead to a probable big occurrence for us. I never thought that helping a girl with her assignment in the end lead her to become my wife. Or some random project I did in college will end up getting me hired for the first time and made me wind up working in the field I do now. We’ll never know which one, and that’s where lies all the excitement.

Interview with the Cabbie

Last nite, when facing traffic jam on my way home I had a small talk with the cab driver. It’s been three times though the same subject mentioned with the same tone. They miss the old Suharto’s regime. Not surprisingly, they were all talking about how situation were much better during those days and how much development and prevalent economical welfare felt by the people on ‘almost’ every class.

They were stressing about the stabilized national security and feeling of patriotism upheld in high esteem by all. Granted that the freedom was ‘slightly’ compromised but they recognized that as sacrifice they’re willing to take instead of real chaos and total indignity they see these days.

To be honest I was a bit stunned, because I remember it very well, marching with thousands of other protesters during those 1998 period. At that moment what we’re fighting for seems so true and worthy.

The regime that’s in power for more than 32 years was deemed to be the source of suffering to the non-bourgeoisie class and the nest of collusion, corruption, and nepotism throughout the administration. Human rights violation in the shape of abduction and suppression of anyone who dare to speak different was beginning to be the focus of rage within the nation.

The powers that be decided that reformation was needed. Preluded by a horrific riot in plenty of business districts, the reformation took place. The regime stepped down and reinstated by one of the crony, although not long after that, the people choose themselves another leader in the shape of Gus Dur, followed by Megawati, and the first time ever Indonesian people able to choose their own leader from a so called ‘the most democratic election ever’ put Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono in RI-1 throne.

What do we have now? Consider the economic growth on 1995, the real GDP grew on average by 8% annually (albeit slightly misleading because it was ‘allegedly’ measured with pretense parameters), while now is a modest 3% and not looking to rise anytime soon. The price is hiking up, Rupiah is still franticly unstable, our ‘honorable’ elected parliament fighting like a bunch of thugs in front of national television, corruption is even more rooted in every corner, crime is as high as ever with bombs and massive riot ready to explode at any time, I could go on forever but it’s getting depressing.

The things is, back then even though the number of corruption was indeed high, yet it seems there’s a certain chain of command, there are little fishes, tunas, sharks, and sitting atop was the smiling killer whale. Like for example, the mayor won’t be richer (more corrupt) than the governor, and the governor bow to the minister, furthermore all of them didn’t take more money than the King and his royal family ties.

Now it seems that they are all competing each other, to be a local king of their own and taking as many cake as possible leaving the poor dead and starving (anyway, incase you didn’t notice, it’s just a tongue in cheek expression).

I wonder whether the ‘reformation’ in our collective mind was a country without technocrats? Where the younger generation all budding to become celebrities instead of engineers? Become raunchy models instead of scientists? Become dodgy entertainers instead of teachers? Where naked pictures and sex scene considered art? Hugging and kissing in public places considered human rights?

Well, it IS probably, I’m not going to use a moral high ground on this one, because at one point I might be just as guilty.

What does it mean? Are the students and the people in the wrong by doing the protests that escalated into the fall of Suharto in 1998? Is the condemned regime right after all by saying that in order for the country to develop its economy, there needs to be a stability and a Gestapo-like act is indeed required? Are these fellow cab drivers and probably millions (?) other who share the same feeling stating the truth?

I dare not even try to contemplate about it.

Or maybe it’d be better if we just move on, try our best living our life and level of involvement (be it in politics or social) the way we want it, within the boundaries of our principle and just hoping, that some day, some how, Indonesia will get better in time.

The Hunt for a PDA

I was on a meeting with quite a prospective client, when my pen suddenly ran out of ink. It’s pretty embarrassing to borrow pen from your client’s secretary. She gave me that peculiar condescending looks and probably thinking what was I doing meeting with a torn white peace of paper and a rubbish pen to a big boss like hers. Luckily when it’s my turn to present the pages in computer the clients (and the secretary) were pretty impressed so I think I can save my ass a bit there.

It has always been a habit, going to an important meeting without pen or organizer. I had a decent memory so almost all the requirements and data from any client sticks to my mind. But these last few weeks the need to have a decent organizer or PDA is beginning to mount. The budget is there but first I had to ask permission from my wife because she had a veto for any expenses after all. Following several persuasions process, she agreed, but with side note, try and find the cheapest one there is.

At first we thought, it would be just great to pair the PDA with CDMA phone, there has been plenty of recommendation to use Esia, for it’s very cheap and cost effective. Most of the PDA Phone in CDMA Technology was way out of our budget, save one, Audiovox Thera. I search reviews in forumponsel.com etc, all of them said that it’s a decent buy but with major issue in battery power. We took a gamble and got ourselves one. Apparently all Thera in Indonesia is a refurbished product and on top of that, they are from black market, so no warrant available unless the local vendor gives you.

I’ve been playing with the Thera all-night and got very disappointed when I realized about the battery problem. I charged it full for eight hours yet when I woke up the next morning it’s reversed to empty again. We decided to return the PDA Phone and get our money back with slight reduction. I thought it was only fair, than end up with a rubbish gadget, which we have to charge every time we want to use it.

We browsed ITC Kuningan and Mall Ambassador once more for PDA Store and met this kind lady in Palm Point, who offered us a brand new HP Ipaq RZ 1710 for only 1.9 million rupiah, the only problem is that they’re out of stock. She’ll have to call us if its ready stocks once more. She let us browse for a while just in case we could find one with a better price. Apparently not, the others offered no less than 2.4 mil rupiah.

The lady called me in the next two days and asked whether I was still interested. I hurried went to the store and finalized the transaction. She also told me that she had to endure wrath from her boss for letting the Ipaq go at that price (which is very low indeed especially with the rupiah plummet that day). I thanked the lady for her kindness and got home anxious to have fun with the new toy.

Ira was pretty excited too. We had the PDA for two weeks now and it has been a great help and quite a decent investment. Considering the price and functionality, it's a steal really. She’s been to half a dozen meetings with it and found it pretty handy and useful. The 65K TFT resolution is crystal clear. And with Windows mobile 2003, landscape and portrait view is available to almost all applications. Synchronizing with my mac and pc is easy and with the 512 MB SD Card I bought, I can fill it with plenty of mp3s, medium sized movies, and programs so I won’t be looking like an idiot the next time I had to wait for two hours in Plaza Senayan. Basically, in the end it’s considered money well spent.

Keep on Dreaming

I’ve been working on multimedia for more than six years now. I love my job and still really passionate about it. Nevertheless for quite sometime now, I’ve been very thirsty of knowledge in promotions and advertising world, especially TV commercials. We are all influenced to some degree by advertisement and other forms of promotion. From the more conventional way of radio and television ad, to the more-shall we say-‘annoying’ type like telemarketer or even spamming, scamming, and fraud.

As the new millennium looms, we are experiencing perhaps the most vigorous and revolutionary changes of any era in the history of marketing, as well as advertising and promotion. These changes are being driven by advances in technology and developments that have led to the swift growth of communications through interactive media, particularly the internet.

It has been an integral part of our social and economic systems, a vital infrastructure for both consumer and producer/businesses/organizations. We surely remember during the election period, our elite politicians competing each other to gain as much as listener and audience, from corny banner, cheesy t-shirt, to a complex scheme of promotional tool like targeting internet community and full blown ‘road blocking’ spot in every TV channel. Subconsciously when we vote we are somehow affected by it, we probably remember how one goofy looking elderly woman said how much she adore SBY for his good looks in one particular ad.

Not everyone though is sold on the value of advertisement. Some might argue that most ads is more propaganda than information; it creates needs and faults we never really knew we had. Ads suggest that kids won’t succeed without a computer, that our body should be leaner, our faces younger, flak and pimple free. Some ads even more sultry and lewd to the point of rather offensive and made us blush. I don’t want to point any finger but you probably had one or two in your mind.

Ads on occasion can be tasteless, irritating, boring, obnoxious, and so on. Don’t you ever feel like you want to throw your book to the TV, when some noisy little kid with excessively fake happy face repeating her self three times about some sort of wafer thingies? Several studies show that more than two third respondents reported feeling offended by advertising at least sometimes.

Advertising also creates and encouraging commercialism, materialism, manipulating us to buy things we do not really want or need, encouraging the act of spending and together with the bombardment of mass media somehow responsible to a society more money oriented and corrupting our values in life, something amusingly put forward by Fight Club with its psychobabble about ‘the things we own end up owning us’.

What I’ve written above though making advertising more challenging in the future. How rewarding it would be if I can just for once involve in a project to create an ad that both ethical and effective, especially if it’s an award winning one. Hopefully some CEO of a reputable agency read this and give me a call, he he... Well, there’s no fault in keep on dreaming, right?

Of Father and Son

I read somewhere that people generally are divided into two kinds, Bosses and Workers. This has nothing to do with Kiyosaki’s Cash flow Quadrant, where he states about the four kind of workers: Employees, Self-Employed workers, Business Owners, and Investors. The first statement I took (from a particularly forgettable book) just to make my next paragraphs sounds credible.

I had a sister who will most probably end up to be the first kind, but my father and I are definitely the latter one. As genuine workers, we have a huge trade off for our job and financial security by "losing" our chance to become rich quickly (Unless we win a lottery or something). Dad worked as an employee far in a Celebes remote area for Aneka Tambang, some kind of state owned company.

I remember he wakes up every morning and work long hours each day, and always be a hard and dedicated worker without ever being rich.

“At least we make an honest living Heru”, that’s what my father used to say. Yeah, he is an honest and straight as an arrow person. I’m not really sure if I were to be on his position I wouldn’t take plenty advantages from the perk he had during the 30 long years of work in the company.

I still remember like it was yesterday, my mom used to complain about how things are so expensive and we don’t have anything special in the house like our neighbors who had a nice sofa and kitchen set or their son playing with expensive gadgets.

Dad now is already retired and stay in Makassar, along with his gold wrist watch as a token of appreciation from his former company. Not content with nothing to do all day, he decided to open up a ‘not so convenient store’ in our home.

Using my old room and opening up spaces here and there, the shop was ready to sell anything from shampoo sachets to gallons of mineral water. When I was back at home during the last holidays I watched in tears as my dad while sleepy, patiently dealing with a restless junior customer buying candies with a torn 100 rupiah note.

Watching the store and dealing with the many kind of customers is quite an art. You have to be all smiley and helpful and sometimes content with a few being slightly ignorant. Living in the big cities where ten thousands of rupiah is virtually next to nothing, I used to be a little careless with cash.

Something I picked up during my picket time in the shop is that you really have to learn to appreciate money, because you have to work really hard earning every cents.

There’s a popular belief nowadays (with money being the new god) that employees and self employed workers are the worst position to be in. My father may never get rich working this way, but I’m sure that he is happy and proud of what he achieved in his life. How he managed to provide decent education for his son and daughters and still be there for us whenever we needed him.

It was 1991 when my high school selection process began. He drove me with his motorcycle as far as 230 kilometers all by himself. I also recall the day he was so disappointed when I decided to quit military academy to join my uni, yet he keep his loving support through the years.

Well, I don’t know about Rich Dad and Poor Dad, haven’t read it. But I love my Dad, rich or poor.

For a Good Cause Anyway

An SMS from my youngest cousin got me thinking real hard. She asked whether I can pay some of her college tuition, because her father and mother is now retired and it’s a pity if she would have to quit her school only because of that. I understand what they have been through and if this had come a year earlier I would not have to think twice to help her.

For almost a year now I’ve been giving some amount of money to our office boy, (well probably office aid because he’s much older than me), Mr. Noor, to help him with the education of his two children. It’s not a burden really, I am truthfully and honestly glad that I could help him, and in the process he shows me his son and daughter’s report book each month to actually follow their progress.

They’ve been pretty good at school with several eights and nines in Math and English. Besides, if you meet Pak Noor, he’s this very nice and religious man with plenty of hilarious ideas and a helpful hand. He’s just unlucky that he didn’t have the chance to enjoy decent education like others especially with his wife being sick from time to time. It is not possible to stop helping him now even though he said that he just had a rise this month.

With the oil and gas prices hiking up and without any significant pay rise from my office, I’ve been pretty lucky lately due to several side projects that pay handsomely. But most of them will have to go to the account to pay for our future house. And by purchasing a PDA a while a go (something I needed badly, it’s not an impulse buy or for showing off), the purse string is pretty tight right now. I have some other projects in the pipeline that will due to payment in near future but I cannot count my chicken from the eggs just yet. I’ve been too familiar with clients suddenly goes missing when it’s time to pay up.

Well maybe I just have to learn to live rather more cost effective. Perhaps I will have to skip every breakfast and in the meantime reducing my weight in the process. That would be great, isn’t it? I’ve been doing some sit ups lately and I can hardly see any difference on my belly. In fact this morning in front of the elevator I met Lily, my former classmate and she said how I look fatter than ever. That’s not very flattering. And also especially with the flag price for Taxi in Jakarta is up 30% I will have to lessen the frequency of using taxi too, there’s plenty of motor taxi available near here though, and walking every now and then will always be good for my cholesterol, he he … It’s for a good cause anyway.

Anyway, don’t mind this. It’s only a random musing just to pour it somewhere so that I can actually think clearly. Hopefully side projects will keep on coming my way and conceivably it’s not too late to hope for the oil and gas price return back the way they were right? Or is it?

For The Love of The Game

It’s no secret that there’s always a battle going on over who’s in charge of the remote control in a small family with only one telly. That is also what happened in my home for the last three years. I had that battle with my sisters during my bachelor era although only in small frequency since I studied in a boarding school. Now it’s my wife’s turn. We had a peaceful pact before but since the programme on TV keep changing all the time, the pact becoming ineffective.

I don’t really know what started my flirt affection with football because I only had it in the last ten years ever since I started to play Championship Manager in my pc during the college years. At first I barely know the system of play let alone the beauty of the game, but the devotion beginning to boost each year gone by. Now it comes to the phase when my wife can sum it up in one sentence: If Manchester United win, she’s safe. That is because every time a bad patch going on for my beloved team I would be all grumpy and rather fuming the whole lot all day. Funny that she always wants to hide in the closet whenever the game started, but I guess that’s just sarcastic exaggeration.

So when I woke up at 2 o’clock this morning and found my team playing against its most bitter enemy in the shape of those graceless Arsenal twats, drowsiness replaced by uncontrollable and unexplainable anxiety and suddenly I was fully awoken. And without a rival fighting for the remote since Ira was soundly sleeping I can enjoy the amusement to the fullest. The game itself showed every quality that is to like about football. It got controversies, male testosterone with high flying and crunching tackles, luscious class of dribbling and close control. Leadership, wit, and passion battled each other in the field for 90 minutes.

And the most pleasing thing is that Manchester United winning it with a rout of a thriller 4-2 score line. Over the years the fixture has been riled with infuriated rivalry. From last year’s Battle of Old Trafford to the Pizza Gate incident back in October, there have been punches given back and forth. But this time the hype really is rewarded with some of the best tussle ever seen in a football match.

By the point it was all over, the alarm bell to wake me up has passed 5 o’clock so it’s about time to take my shower and get ready for work. When I get to decide what to wear today I stumbled across my Red Devil replica shirt and remember thinking, 'Hm… it'd be cool wearing it just to winding up the other lot... well, why not?'. A few eyebrows were indeed raised today in the office seeing me with the red top but I just went on smiling and gave a winning smirk especially to the bunch of ‘Anything But United’ brigade blokes over here.

Hehehe, the bragging right is mine today, mate.

The One With The Memorable Quotes

We know them all too well. We’ve been watching them together for more than eleven years. They define the ‘must’ in “must see TV”. Indeed, we’re talking about the gang of six, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Ross, Joey, and Chandler. Yeah, Friends, for ten years, their life’s, love’s, and wacky antics have provided the water cooler buzz on each morning we had our coffee break or in between dinner talks. From Fun Bobby, The Ugly Naked Guy, to Joy’s big break as Al Pacino’s stunt butt, we’ve enjoyed the ride all played to the haunting refrain of Phoebe’s quirky tune ‘Smelly Cat’.

All the stars in the show has brought to life the character we get to know and love. But ten years is a long time and a lot has changed including our favourite ‘Friends’. Now that it’s already ended, it seems something has been missing. Gone are the days of curiousity of whether Ross and Rachel will be together again or whether Chandler will stuck between a rock and a hard place once more.

The show has moved beyond success to cultural icon status. And with final episodes already aired for almost a year ago, The Gen X fans who has turned from 20 something to 30 something along with the cast, still find a way to rejoice some of the re-runs from their own vcd or dvd collections.

From the get go, the show has grabbed attention from fans to critics and ultimately has been one of the phenomenon of the nineties. Can you remember when Chandler said, “You have to stop the Q-Tip when there's resistance.” Or when Rachel scream, “Hey, just so you know: it's *NOT* that common, it *DOESN’T* ‘happen to every guy,’ and it *IS* a big deal.” And Joey’s stupid remark, “It's a rented tux. Okay? I'm not gonna go commando in another man's fatigues.”

I think everybody saw a little bit of themselves in each one of the six character. It also represents all the different sides of who you might be, or even the various different type of people that you know of. I would look at my friends and said, ‘Oh my god, that is so Ross’ or a friend of mine who always compared herself with Monica’s type of neurotic.

One of the show’s most remarkable accomplishment is that for the whole decade, it was always funny. Everyone still have their own most favourite moment. That look or line that can still make you laugh out loud. Well for me, I would have to say my most favourite scene was when Joey and Chandler had an argument and Joey end up wearing all Chandlers clothes and do some lunging. Man, that is some funny stuff.

Friends may not literally the most seen or the ultimate best in TV show but surely it has some special place in the niche of the people my age. It’s not exactly profound or even breakthrough these whole series, but whenever I felt a little been under the weather or almost jaded, I just reach on to the cupboard and there they are ready to pick me up and make me laugh. I think Joey said it best when him and Chandler are about to split from the apartment. “It’s the end of an era”.

O Ambition, Where Art Thou?

Anyone can give up; it's probably one of the easiest things there is to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if we decided to step back, that's the mark of true strength.

To be honest this is probably the summary of what I shall and must do in life. There are things that should be accepted as it is. There are also things that if you have courage and willingness to fix and change as you want. Maybe I should re-read this phrase for myself whenever I had too many needs and wants, which are not necessarily available or achievable then and now.

What shall I do and how much effort shall I put depends on how big is my ability to accept what has been given and my willingness to minimize the threshold between "what I want" and "what I could actually get".

To be able to put up with reality, compliant and uncomplaining, handle the dire truth be it failure or unavailability, these are the skill set I’ve been developing all my life. Maybe due to the fact that I’m Indonesian where acceptance is one of the more primordial characteristic.

What I’m wary about is that I might be lulled in the comfort zone on my own and not have the aptitude and the ambition to pick up what's left and really move forward. To actually achieve something that would make me, and all the people around me be proud.

Too long have I been indulged in this so-called secured state, without ever want to risk anything so I won’t have to get out of my cushy sofa. With the salary and fee from side job, my little family could lead life economically. But is that enough? And how much is enough? I still have plenty of time if only there’s more ambition in me, instead of playing Championship Manager, or watching DVDs, browsing neither here nor there, for hours daily. So unproductive.

Living in this current world, where information about opportunity, where other people successes is right in front of you to be followed and even surpassed. It shouldn’t be hard to be more ambitious, or should it?

God please give me the courage to change things that must be changed;
Give me audacity to move forward and valor to accomplish my aspiration;
And the wisdom not to be so conceited to walk on Your earth.

The Butterfly Effect

"It has been said that something as small as the flutter of a butterfly's wing can ultimately cause a typhoon halfway around the world."

Well, this time it’s not a butterfly’s wing rather a 8.9 Richter tremor and fleets of 15 m tsunami swept the south east Asia, claimed over 150,000 innocent lives along its way. The aftershock coverage shows us, from English premier star footballer to Afghan refugee, from Hollywood celebrities to a humble cab driver in Jakarta, made a typhoon of donations as much as they can.

A phenomenon inevitably brings light that human beings is not that bad after all. The Homo Homini Lupus - Man is a wolf to man – a popular Roman proverb that so often seems too true in this 'dog eat dog' world is once more put into perspective.

The multinational pledge from countries around the world exceed the number of 4 billion dollar. A numeral I can hardly understand the figure.

There’s a danger that it all boils down to mere publicity stunt though, akin to what happened after the Bam Quake in Iran exactly one year ago. International vowed for more than 1 billion dollar while the number decrease significantly to miserly 17 millions dollar. In the days subsequent to Bam's earthquake, more than 1,600 aid workers from 44 countries streamed in to help with the rescue and relief operation.

But now, the sprawling international camp on the grounds of the former city has been closed down and only a handful of international agencies remain. While the much criticized middle eastern countries, who at that time promise not more than 50 millions, truth to their words and deliver the number they promised.

Without much of a fuss the humanitarian effort from the conflict region has already enter Indonesian soil since early of the aftermath, while other head of nations still gathering in the Jakarta Tsunami High-Level Conference. They are less glamor and far from the camera scrutiny but delivered with efficiency and without interest.

I had several discussion among friends about the importance of publication and promotion to any humanitarian and social deeds. That is because there are one proverb in Islam that says “don’t let your left hands know what your right hand is doing”.

The gist of it is that we practice good and righteous deeds only for Allah alone, instead of the adulation or praise that will follow. I am not totally agree with that because good promotion and publication can be productive in spreading the intention and attract others to do just the same.

Like the case in the middle eastern country who seemingly passive and cheap in offering help due to the small amount of awareness generated by the media coverage. There’s been a negative buzz that those countries seems ignorant to the sufferings of others. While in truth they have been pretty generous with their effort and fund while other countries still mulling of how much to donate.

I remember a verse that says "By the age! Verily, man is in loss! Save those who believe and do righteous deeds, and bid each other be true and bid each other in patience".

Fantasy

When I was alone in places like the airport lounge or cafe just waiting for clients, I remember thinking how I rarely making up fantasies anymore. I used to do that, a lot. Be it a fantasy to be a Nobel prize winner, be able to fly away like a bird, creating a teleporter appliance that can beam me to places, become an unparalleled kungfu master, or to some extent having a romantic encounter with Sophie Marceau (at that time). Perhaps marriage life made me even more pragmatic and rather detached to the 'Joie de vivre' normally associated with youth and childhood.

In fact, one of the thing that separate us, human beings, from animals and robots is our ability to use our fantasy. we can teach a machine how to combine elements. Yet we can't program a machine the function and meaning of fantasy. Because fantasy has to do with imagination and a machine can only work with countable objects, or at least that's what I know of now. Mankind reach their status now in this world because of fantasy. Greater inventions, explorations, wars, major leaps in technology and almost whole aspect of our life is the results of fantasy of our predecessor.

Fantasies usually are unrealistic though. The minute we got something, we usually don't or even can't, want it anymore. For the fantasies to continue exist, desire needs absent object. So it is safe to say that desire supports itself with crazy fantasies. We're usually at the most happy when we're day-dreaming about future happiness. "The hunt is sweeter than the kill" or "Be careful what you wish for". Not because we'll get it, but because we're doomed not to want it anymore.

Could this conceivably be the reason why some of the most powerful people on earth acting like they are God ? Because there's only few things that they're actually can not get with all their might and power. Perhaps just itching to nuke down a marketplace just to see if they can get away with it. Or launch an air strike against a rogue country while the whole world is against it, just to show who's the boss. Well, that's just one of the scary side of fantasy.

Indulging fantasy is not always healthy too. It will made it harder for us to distinguish the real and the imagination. But some able to be productive and creative with their fantasies, people like Tolkien and JK Rowlings are among those who manage to mesmerize us with the sheer brilliance of their imaginative mind.

I have to remind myself that for my upcoming new year resolution is to bring back those fantasy to eliminates the tedium and mundane state of real life.

All Quiet in The Office Front

The people we work together with is not exactly our choice in the first place. Yet probably we spend more time with them than actually with our family. While all we've got in common is mostly the fact that we walk on top of the same bit of carpet, or share the same coffee mugs for around eight hours a day. And during that eight hours a day so many things could happen. There's friction, laughter, banter, and also not uncommon there's flirtation here and there.

My previous office was like the perfect example of a melting pot that is an office. We had office drunks but very popular guy. A bunch of party goers and ganja smokers. There's sorority sister packs who is beautiful on the outside but often not so quite in the inside. There's this Miss walking around feeling 'imsomuchbetterthananyother'. There's also plenty of friendly and amusing persons available to fill your daily activities. Despite all their antics, i've never had a problem with them. Infact i've been pretty close to most without being influenced too much of any unhealthy habit. Three years in that one big happy family of an office flew by and it really was an eventful periods, most of the times it was exciting, and fun, and inspiring.

My current office though is another different ball game altogether. It is more compact with fewer staffs and relatively from the same background of educations and economy unlike the first one where people from all sort of school of life mixed up. The guys and the girls are alright, well... except probably this one guy who conviniently sitting right next to me. At first he was okay, seems a lil bit uptight tho' but bearable. The trouble started when he asked to exchange seat with me because my cubicle was better positioned than him. At that time I thought, well I'm new so it's probably normal to just be polite and give the man what he wanted. And then by the time went by I started to pick up up small pieces that further enhance my suspicion that this chap is quite something alright. I mean, how would you normally react to a guy who keep bragging that he had an IQ of 160, how important he is and his works for our office, how he managed to master classic guitar by the age of 12, or how good his english is, and wait you haven't heard the worst yet, how he dated Dian Sastro (one of the most recognizable faces in Indonesia). Seriously, this guy has an issue. Not only that, he speaks like screaming his lungs out in each words, his table is messy full with garbage, he puts heavy metal songs on out loud every each day, sheesh, how annoying can a person be?

I've been trying to be polite, to the point of nodding along each lies he spout, but I just can't stand it. The problem is that he doesn't get a single clue that i've been trying to avoid him just to keep my hands not to beat him to death with my shoe. He keeps coming to my place and act like a complete wanker. Today though he's taking a day off and what a peaceful day it has been. I've never felt so quiet and in the mood of work like today. Let me celebrate this day with my regular hot nescafe, and cheers to you too for reading this. Don't take this too much, but I seriously hope you don't get to meet this guy or his kind.